This is a once-ina-lifetime thing, and the person I'm apologizing to should feel very, very honored.
Andrea, I'm sorry I called you a slut and a bitch and a butterface.
I really was seeing red, and I needed to vent. I usually take it out on Ben Schulte, who I punched in the mouth a couple days ago. He almost cried. Yeah.
So Andrea, you have my apology and my forgiveness.
So don't fuck this up.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Don't Fart In Bed
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a
doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you.
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.
years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a
doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you.
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Challenges of High School
The Challenges of High School
With all of the afteraffects of Middle School, it has left me wondering, am I ready for High School?
So much drama went on in the sixth, seventh, and mostly the eighth grade year, I barely survived Middle School drama. It leave me wondering if I am going to be mature enough to handle the extestential drama and shit that happens in High School. I have to go to High School with the friends that cause the most drama in our lives.
(i.e., Amaia, Ben, Julian, Evan, Eli)
On the plus side, there is a more giant atmosphere of relationships. But then that can lead to even more drama. Also, with family troubles and teen angst, what the fuck? I don't know if I can take it. I don't know if I'm going to make it through with just a scratch, or crumble under the ongoing pressure. Drugs and sex and alchohol, peer pressure is everywhere.
Well, I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I don't know if anyone feels the same way.
With all of the afteraffects of Middle School, it has left me wondering, am I ready for High School?
So much drama went on in the sixth, seventh, and mostly the eighth grade year, I barely survived Middle School drama. It leave me wondering if I am going to be mature enough to handle the extestential drama and shit that happens in High School. I have to go to High School with the friends that cause the most drama in our lives.
(i.e., Amaia, Ben, Julian, Evan, Eli)
On the plus side, there is a more giant atmosphere of relationships. But then that can lead to even more drama. Also, with family troubles and teen angst, what the fuck? I don't know if I can take it. I don't know if I'm going to make it through with just a scratch, or crumble under the ongoing pressure. Drugs and sex and alchohol, peer pressure is everywhere.
Well, I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I don't know if anyone feels the same way.
Good Counsel Camp 2009
Good Counsel Camp 2009:
THE GOOD TIMES:
THE BAD TIMES:
Kyle crying over everything (Cabin 2 Kyle), the bugs, the heat, the lines, more heat, the "Storm of the Session", Patrick's voice, having to clean the writing off of Cabin 2, soccer, the idiots in Cabin 1, even more of Patrick's voice every second of every minute of every day, and Andrea leaving me helpless and dateless in the middle of the dance.
THE GOOD TIMES:
Inside jokes, watching Joe flip out over a spider, the talks with friends, watching KC laugh at everything I say, watching everyone else laugh at most everything I say, RISK, The Shaving Cream Fight, Halo, Nikoli, Paco, Julia, Liz, Jackie, Katie, Zack, KC, Andrea (for a limited time), Lexi, Teddy, Chris, Cameron, Jackson, Mason, "Kason", Jimmy, "Don't worry about it!", Laura, Ashley, watching "How High" for the first time, blowing everyone over with my knowledge of movies, teasing Val for looking like a camper (Val- "I wrote all over Cabin 7". Casey- "What, two weeks ago?"), the dances, the girls, the dancing with girls, the cookouts, the bonfire, the "Hill Shower", skit night, E-Bone, Tristen Middleton, "Butt Scratchahhh!", departments, the food, the laughs, the pranks, and all of the great counselors and friends.
THE BAD TIMES:
Kyle crying over everything (Cabin 2 Kyle), the bugs, the heat, the lines, more heat, the "Storm of the Session", Patrick's voice, having to clean the writing off of Cabin 2, soccer, the idiots in Cabin 1, even more of Patrick's voice every second of every minute of every day, and Andrea leaving me helpless and dateless in the middle of the dance.
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